Photography Assignment #12

How To Win Friends And Influence People

Part One - Fundamental Techniques in Handling People

[ Don't criticize, condemn, or complain ]

" Criticism is futile because it puts a person on the defensive and usually makes them strive to justify themselves. "

The great man represents his greatness in the attitude of dealing with scum," said Carlyle. Criticism is worthless. Because criticism places men in a defensive position and usually makes the man try to justify himself. Criticism is dangerous. Because it hurts a man's precious pride, damages his sense of importance, and provokes grudge. Let us deeply realize that those who are trying to correct or condemn us will probably justify themselves and condemn us.

[ Give honest and sincere appreciation ]

 " The deepest principle in human nature is the craving to be appreciated. "

One of America 's greatest philosophers, John Dewey, said the most intense desire within humanity is a desire to be important.
Keep in mind the phrase 'desire to be important.'


[ Arouse in the other person an eager want ]

" Of course, you are interested in what you want. But no one else is. The rest of us are just like you: we are interested in what we want. " 

The only secret to success is the ability to understand other people's thoughts and to see things from the other side as well as your position," Henry Ford said.

So the only way to move others is to talk about what they want and show how they can get it.


Part Two - Six Ways to Make People Like You

[ The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it ]

 " There is only one way under high heaven to get the best of an argument - and that is to avoid it. "

The prominent Roman poet, Publius Schiarre, said: "We are interested in people who are interested in us." If you want to make friends, throw yourself away and do something for others. This requires time, effort, sacrifice and thoughtfulness.


[ Show respect for the other person's opinions. Never say "You're wrong." ]

 " If you are going to prove anything, don’t let anybody know it. Do it so subtly, so adroitly, that no one will feel you are doing it. "

According to his observations and experience, the president of the largest rubber company in the United States says that it is absolutely not successful if it is interesting to work and not be able to withstand it.

The big thing in this industry was not believing much in the old proverb, "Only industrious is the only key to hope."

[ Remember that a person's name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language ]

" The average person is more interested in his or her own name than in all the other names on earth put together. " 

Remember the names of people and call them often. Then you will receive many praise. However, if you forget your name and write it wrong, you will be in trouble. 


Part Three - How To Win People To Your Way of Thinking

[ The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it ]

 " There is only one way under high heaven to get the best of an argument - and that is to avoid it. " 

[ If you are wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically ]

" A drop of honey catches more flies than a gallon of gall. "

Would not it be better for us to blame ourselves first if there is something to be blamed for? Would not it be much easier to listen to the voice of self-criticism by hearing criticism from others?

[ Let the other person do a great deal of the talk ]

 " If you want enemies, excel your friends; but if you want friends, let your friends excel you. "

What is the most rewarding factor in work? money? Good working conditions? bonus? Nothing. The main motivator for motivating people was work itself.

If work is exciting and fun, there is a big expectation for it and motivation to do better. If there is something that every successful person likes, it is their job.

Part Four - Be a Leader : How To Change People

[ Begin with praise and honest appreciation ] 

 " Beginning with praise is like the dentist who begins his work with Novocain. The patient still gets a drilling, but the Novocain kills the pain. " 

[Call attention to people's mistakes indirectly ]

One day Charles Schwab was looking at a steel factory he was running at noon and saw some of his employees smoking. Just above their heads was a sign saying 'no smoking'.

Did Schwab point to the sign and say, "Do not you read the text?"

It is your word. Schwab was not such a person.

They gave them a cigarette and said, "I would be very grateful if you could go outside."

Even though they knew that they had violated the rules, the employees honored him, who even made a small gift, without any hesitation, to realize that he respects them.

Can not you like this person?

Indirectly implying anyone's mistake has an astonishing effect on people of a sensitive nature who are very angry with any direct criticism.

[ Ask question instead of giving direct orders ]

 " People are more likely to accept an order if they have had a part in the decision that caused the order to be issued. "

[ Let the other person save face ]

 "I have no right to say or do anything that diminishes a man in his own eyes. What matters is not what I think of him, but what he thinks of himself. Hurting a man in his dignity is a crime."